Hard work

You know what is hard to do? Starting to work out again when you haven't in forever!! I hate starting over. I need to not quit and then I won't have this problem!

I'm trying to focus on my eating right now and slowly bring back my workouts. Right now it's all about crowding out. I can eat what I want but I have to eat all my "good" foods first.

That means everyday I will eat 3 fruits, one large salad with lots of raw veggies, a huge serving of steamed green veggies, and a half cup of beans. And if I am craving ice cream I can have some. I will put all my attention on adding in the good in the hopes that it will crowd out the bad.

Set backs

So I've had a little set back... I fell head first into some ice cream and staid there for far too long. Motivation was at an all time low the past few months. But I am happy to report that I have worked out every day this week!

Mind you these are not amazing hard core workouts but it's better than nothing!

I am trying to create new habits in my brain. I want to wake up and feel the same urgency to go to the gym as I feel to brush my teeth. It's a slow process but I'm making some progress.

The hard part is keeping the motivation going. Today I woke up and saw that I had gained 2 pounds this week!! This is hard to swallow when I have worked out and logged my food everyday. My eating was not perfect but it was an improvement over the week before, yet I gained weight.

For anyone who has struggled like I have you know that this can make you want to eat everything in sight while crying. A option I have chosen several times before. Currently I am trying to convince myself that although I am now at a new all time high weight I should be proud of my consistency with working out this week. Shifting my thoughts from trying to lose weight to trying to create healthy habits is hard. I have years of faulty thinking to rewire in my brain. 

Just keep walking

Endurance- the fact or power of enduring an unpleasant or difficult process or situation without giving way.

That pretty much sums it up. Endurance is kind of like patience, you have to work at it. All the time! 

I love being outside. I even love walking for the first 15 minutes. But then it gets hard. I don't mind a challenge normally, I love challenges in my professional life. But when a challenge involves sweating... my enthusiasm seems to go out the window. It really sucks that the only way to improve is to keep going. I wonder how far off we are from being able to shove a probe in the back of our skulls matrix style so we no longer have to be bothered by the tedium of learning new things.

One can dream.

It begins

So how do you start your marathon training when you can't actually run? Answer. Slowly.

 Going by my wog today I believe I actually jog slower than I walk. I did not know that was possible but I swear it's happening. I could only do 3 sets of 30 second jogging. I had to recover for several minutes in between since apparently I don't know how to breathe when I jog.

 I have also noticed that people give you the strangest looks when you are a fatty attempting to jog. I never noticed it when I was out walking but once I started to jog they looked at me with sad eyes. Ugh! Don't give me sad eyes. Yes I'm fat, yes it's hot and humid outside and I look like I'm about to have a stroke, but I assure you this will not break me. I've been through worse things than a 30 second jog.

 I came back home pretty bummed. I wanted to have this great post about how I felt inspired and more motivated than ever to accomplish my goals, but in truth I walked in my door got ice cream out of my freezer and sat on my couch. Ice cream cools you down, so it's kind of the same thing as doing a cool down right?

 Tomorrow will be better. I'm going to try for 4 sets of 30 seconds.

Marathon smarathon

 I have decided my new mission in life is to complete the Hawaiian Marathon. My plan is to register for the 2015 race. This will give me a year and three months to get ready. It shouldn't be too bad I have already mastered the art of carbo loading and I can stretch like a pro. I am well versed in muscle massage techniques and not to brag but I own a variety of icey hot products. So the only thing left to do is learn to run and maybe lose half of my body weight.

  I can currently jog for about 30 seconds before I feel like passing out. I can wog (walk/jog) at a 23 minute mile pace. I have never run a mile straight in my life. So why the Hawaiian Marathon?

 I have always wanted to run a marathon. I have talked about it for years. In fact I talked about it so much that I helped to inspire a few friends to get in shape and run marathons. Jerks. I just can't seem to do it myself. I choose Hawaii because it is absolutely gorgeous there and the date of the race is around my birthday so I figure it will be a great way to end a year and bring in a new one. I have no desire to try to "place" in this race, which is good because there is no way I could. I just want to finish. I don't care if the officials have long since gone home and I crawl my way over the finish line I just want to know that I can do it.

 I'm going to blog about my training to keep myself on track. I always start my grand ideas in secret so that when I fail I don't have to admit it to anyone. I think I plan on failing from the beginning so I don't get as upset when it happens. So this time it will be different. I will put it all out there my triumphs and my failures. Perhaps by doing it this way I will actually follow through this time.